Things I'm Learning Along the Way

People are so confused and lost these days about relationships. They hurt one another, are harsh, critical and cynical of friends, partners and mates. It really makes me sad and I've even had a difficult time at times always being the best wife for my husband. Fortunately we realize our faults and talk about the situations that we are not our best in. I'm grateful that my husband and I communicate and work things out. Yes, at times we both want to be stubborn and prove the other wrong, sometimes just to be right, but then one or both of us realize that gets is nowhere and we kiss and make-up so to speak.
I recently downloaded a menstrual cycle tracking app because I have been so messed up in that department and there is of course a social networking component to it. Women can post and chat about all number of issues, situations, relationships, pregnancy, etc. I started looking at some posts and realized very quickly that too many people are in awful relationships. It made me sad and glad for my own situation at the same time.
In no way is my relationship perfect, nor are my husband and I perfect as individuals so I'm not gloating, but I'm grateful for what I have. They key is that both if us share the desire to please Jehovah and in turn that makes us want to work harder on our marriage because that glorifies Him and the arrangement he established. I honestly don't know how people survive without a shared set of beliefs and values. It definitely helps keep us in check, especially when as my husband tells me, I break into being a potty mouth.
It humbles and changes us both for the better when we realize we re being a bit out of hand.
The other reason this blog post was spurned on was after hearing friends talk about their relationships or marriages. As women I think we tend to focus on the negative things our husbands do instead of remember all the sweet and positive ways they improve our lives.
We analyze reasons and are angered when they don't buy us cards, flowers and gifts as if that validates the love they have for us. What we forget is that they surprised us with dinner, cards, gifts at random times. Sure, maybe it's not on an anniversary or special occasion but why should we think that is any less special? People need to wake up and realize that when we receive something unexpected that means that person was thinking about us! Isn't that good enough? Isn't that special? I think it is.
I'm not about to say we shouldn't have expectations but we need to stop thinking that life is like a stinking fairy tale romance and if our mates aren't up to par then we toss them out. I've been guilty of idealizing marriage and life many times. That's just what I do. I'm obsessed with Jane Austen and every BBC adaptation of her novels. I get carried away and over analyze my life. You know what that leads to? Frustration and discontent. It's not a good place. We can create our own happiness! Stop comparing human relationships and lives to fiction. It doesn't work if we won't stop.
Sure, my husband and I drive each other crazy at times and we argue and are unkind on occasion. We disagree, dispute, misunderstand and frustrate each other. But more than anything we love one another. Not just in word, but in deed. I am so happy that I chose him and he chose me. I'd rather be with him than any other person on this earth. He is one of the best men in the world I am sure. He is sweet, caring, kind and surprises me when I least expect it. He is a calming force in my life and helps me keep an cool head when I'm about to lose my mind. Our marriage is far from picture perfect(even though we re ridiculously good looking) but we both put the work in. I pray we continue to grow together and to work hard. I think I'll go home and tell my husband how much I truly appreciate him today and to let him know that he is loved.
*Excuse the grammar/spelling as I typed this on a break at work! ;)*

Learning Not to Idealize Everything

Wow! What a busy life I lead! I know I'm not the only one, but I realize I haven't blogged in forever.  I couldn't remember my password or how to blog for a moment to get into my dashboard!

The new job has proved to be quite overwhelming and has many ups and downs.  I do not miss the commute, but I do miss not dreaming about work and laying awake exhausted, but not being able to stop my obsessive worry about things at work. I feel like I haven't done anything creative in quite a long time!  Okay, it's not just a feeling, it's a fact.  I question my brain's ability to be used in a creative fashion lately.  Mainly because by the time I get home I just want to drink wine, think about working out and watch television with my husband.  I can't figure out why I've gained 15 pounds since getting married. It's a conundrum!  I cancelled my gym membership today....that is all.

I just looked at what I titled this blog entry.  I'd better get down to the nitty gritty and get serious here!  I think it is very clear what I am learning to do since getting married.  All my life I have been told by people to go with the flow, not worry, take it easy and the latest exclamation from Mr. G to "Just RELAX!"  I have a problem.  I constantly feel like I'm wound up real tight and even relaxing takes real effort.  Mr. G is always having to force me to just enjoy relaxing. I don't think I'm there yet.  If I go on vacation it takes me a while to actually realize I'm on vacation until I start relaxing and enjoy it.  Oh it's sad I know, poor me.

Ok, back on track, the title of this blog.  After being married for 8 months, I am really enjoying being married.  There have been many adjustments of living with someone who thinks differently than I do, but after I stopped idealizing what things should be like or how we should act or how much money we should have and threw those shoulds out the window I realized that I needed to stop focusing on some picture perfect newlywed life and just enjoy the new family that was created 8 months ago.
I have an amazing husband, who although leaves his socks in places that I don't understand, he is one of the most fun, loving, and helpful husband's ever! Of this I am sure.  He does things that I don't expect which is always nice, like taking me out for our 2 year anniversary of our first date and surprising me with a gift and a funny card. We often play intense (neither of us likes losing) card games at night and we have fun being together. There are a lot of other good things that I am enjoying about marriage, but it'd probably make everyone sick.  Basically, lesson during the first year is communication is very important and once I stopped trying to make everything perfect, I was able to really enjoy the new life that we are building together.

The Only Constant is Change

Only two more weeks and my commuting days are over!  Some people don't think it's a big deal to work 20 miles from their home and usually it's not.  But, when you live in LA, 20 miles means an hour to hour and a half to and from work.  Lately, it's been getting worse and summer is usually better when it comes to traffic.  
I have been wanting a change of pace for a while and when I didn't get a job in San Diego, I decided that I needed to look for something closer to home.  It's amazing how marriage can change priorities.  Hubby and I talked about it and prayed about it.  I talked about it a lot until finally my husband said that I either needed to start looking or just be resigned to my work situation and basically stop complaining.  The reality is that complaining does very little good if any.  You either have to work with what you've got or change the situation if you can.  So I started looking again, but closer to home. 
A few days later, while I was home with the dreaded conjunctivitis, I received two phone calls.  This was really exciting because I only applied to three places.  I went on both interviews and was offered a job with an insurance broker and benefits advisory as an Enrollment Specialist.  Not only that, but she thinks I will do better in a different position that will open in 3 months, so I'll be getting around the same that I get paid now.  Pretty exciting stuff if you ask me! You didn't ask?  Oh well, I just told you so there!
I am also extremely nervous because you never know what you are getting into with a new job. There is a lapse in pay because of where their payroll starts, health insurance waiting period, and of course all the other unknowns.  But, that really is with any major changes in life.  You don't really know until you're in the thick of it.  Some of the scariest decisions I have made, have been the best.  When I started my current job, I didn't think I would stay 6 months and now I'm a month shy of 3 years. I calculated all the time I sat in traffic over the last 2.9 years and it's over 1500...give or take a few. You're probably saying "Wow!" right now, either because you're amazed at the time spent commuting, or because I'm insane enough to have calculated that out in order to add fuel to the fire of how much I'm ready to leave this job. The new job has a lot more positives than I could find cons.  It is super close to home, interesting,  has room for growth, good for my sanity by not sitting forever in traffic, and good for spiritual activities! I am ready!  And yes I know every job has it's downsides, but I will make a point to remember all the good parts about it.  If I don't Hubby will surely remind me to think of the positives and not start jumping jobs! I have been known to do that, but I say if I can commute for 3 years then I can last at the new place!
Now the next dilemma is what to name my blog, since I won't be Parked on the Freeway any longer!

Updates on Life

I really enjoy staying home and not working.  And when I say really, I mean really.  Did the emphasis on how much I enjoy it come through?  Okay great! Now we can continue.  Monday I was sent home because I thought I had pink eye.  Yes, conjunctivitis, that highly contagious infection that I had for 4 days prior to being sent home from work, but thinking it was allergies or just a reaction to some eye makeup that I probably have been keeping for too long.  It's happened before and I was always able to get rid of it on my own.  So I figured, eh allergies, but better tell my boss I'm going to the doctor to be sure.  She got so freaked out and made me go home 30 minutes after I got to work. I went to an urgent care, near my work, so that way I could return if it was just allergies.  Nope! Time for some eye drops!  I'm pretty sure that a bunch of people at Dave and Buster's got pink eye because of me.  Sorry! Don't wave your fists at me!  I thought it was allergies! What adult gets pink eye that isn't around kids every day! Oh, apparently it's fairly common.  Two of my coworkers are now out as a result. I also had to throw away all of my eye makeup that I've been using. So I have a bathroom trashcan full of money, contaminated with conjunctivitis.  Oh Urban Decay Naked Pallette how I will pine for your loss! I should stop touching my face and eyes so much because there are a bunch of germs just waiting to infest people apparently.  Whoops!  Okay now where was I?  Oh yes, I like to stay home...I really do. 
I was home on Monday because of my disgusting eyes and I got quite a bit done! I think I have talked about this subject of wanting to be a stay-at-home wife before.  So I assume you get the point.  I finally put a few more things away that have been sitting around needing a home, organized some things, washed dishes, made dinner, talked my husband's ear off when all he really wanted to do was come home from work and relax.  Usually he has many hours to relax and get things done, but SURPRISE, I'm home from work because of my nasty eyes!  Yay!  Well, I was excited, a little too excited.  And frankly, he wanted to just catch up on some much needed sleep, so I was a little, okay a lot, annoying. 
So I finished up some stuff and attempted to read my copy of Les Miserables.  A paragraph seemed good enough before I lost interest and looked for something else to do.  After going around the apartment in circles, cleaning makeup brushes, snacking, filling out paperwork, I finally got dinner on.  I really should have gone for a run because I had the time and needed to get some of my overflowing energies out.  Instead I waited like a weird puppy for the husband to wake up and watched Miss Congeniality and Miss Congeniality-Armed and Dangerous. The first one is the best.  I know I need help. 
What else is going on?  Well, some truly exciting stuff could be on the horizon!  I don't know for sure yet, but I'll write an update as soon as I know.  I may no longer be parked on the freeway!  *wink wink*
Stay tuned for more and thank you to all my thousands (which means maybe 5 readers) for following my random wanderings of my mind and life.

The Newspaper Dilemma

My job is an interesting place in the universe.  I often wonder if anyone else has the same issues that I do at my job.  I'm sure they do. I often feel that I'm in a Twilight Zone episode, or maybe this is my own Groundhog Day movie, but instead of Bill Murray as the star, it is me.  Unfortunately I'm not acting, or am I?

Every morning I come to work and the newspaper is on the floor by the front door to the office.  Apparently I am the only one that can pick it up and put it on the table in the lobby.  I am also the only one that can take the old issues to the recycling.  You might be wondering if I get into the office before everyone else.  That would make sense and not be a dilemma.  I am the last one to get to the office in the mornings.

I did a little experiment this morning.  I was carrying a lot of stuff so I went to put it at my desk before going to pick up the paper.  Then I thought that I would leave the paper there and see if anyone would grab it and bring it in, considering the bathroom and elevators are all outside of the front door.  People came and went, came and went.  Did I spy anyone bringing in the newspaper?  You guessed correctly.  No! I finally went and brought it in since we have clients coming in and I want the lobby to look good and not have us looking like a bunch of lazy duds.

You should've seen the huge pile of papers that I came back to work piled on my desk and lobby table when I got back from my honeymoon.  It was plain ridiculous. Two weeks worth of weekday papers and weekend papers (and those are huge with sales flyers and coupons), it made me look like a hoarder with them all piled on my desk. I don't know why I expect people to have common sense and I suppose since I do sit at the front desk in the lobby it is assumed that it is my domain.  It is my domain! So leave it alone and don't mess it up! But, please pick up the paper when you see it.  Thanks. Oh and throw the old ones out if I'm not here.  Is that so hard?  Yes, yes it is extremely difficult.  Will I bring this up to anyone?  No I won't because basically it doesn't matter enough.  It only matters enough for me to write a blog and be baffled at people's lack of common sense or ability to notice the world around them. 

Newlywed Life

It's been a month and a few days since Mr. G and I were married and it's been interesting so far.  By interesting, I don't mean bad, so don't get crazy and start reading all kinds of negativity into the word "interesting."  Thanks.  I just mean it's been a trial and error kind of process.  I like routines and I haven't quite found what works for us yet.  I've also learned that I'm a bit of a control freak and used to doing things my own way.  There's a tiny problem with being that way and living with another person, especially a man. 
Men don't do things the way women think they should be done.  At least that's what I've experienced.  And it is vice versa with men (Mr. G) thinks I should do things a certain way and don't. 
I'm very slowly learning to change the way I normally do things and little by little learning to go with the flow.  It could take a decade or two, but maybe one of these days I'll be super easy going and understand the way my husband's brain works completely and he will understand mine.  Yeah. I know. I said MAYBE.

Although there are adjustments and things that I didn't expect about being married, I guess the best advice I could give for anyone about to get married or going down that path is to not expect anything. Pick your battles and don't worry about every little thing(because I do this, so I'm telling you not to because it's not worth the brain power). It's not like some fairy tale whirlwind, but I can say that it is awesome being married. It's nice to have a partner there to bounce ideas off of, discuss deep topics during family Bible study, laugh with, cuddle on the couch and watch movies with. 
It's nice to be a wife and take care of a home.  I NEVER thought that I would actually enjoy cleaning and ironing and cooking dinner.  I've discovered that I really like keeping my place very clean and having someone there that notices and appreciates it.  I used to let my bedroom get super messy and let it get really dusty before I couldn't take it anymore.  Now it drives me crazy and I can't wait to get everything put away and make everything sparkle and shine.  My car on the other hand is another story and looks like it got dirt dumped on it.
Marriage has made me appreciate my mother and working mothers more than I ever had the ability to before. I work far away from home and sometimes by the time I get home and if I cook dinner we won't eat until almost 8pm sometimes.  It really is the pits but that is life for now.  I admire mothers, especially single ones who have to work full time and then come home and take care of their children.  They must somehow put aside their exhaustion because I don't have kids and I can't even imagine how much work it is.  Just doing the usual things around our home and getting into a routine has been a feat in itself.  And when I come home and things aren't as I would like them to be, I become a major crankpot.  This is not nice for Mr. G. who has been waiting for me to get home and happy to see me, until I turn into a stressed out cranky person. He told me that isn't allowed anymore and that things would get done.  Which they do and they will. I'm learning.

So in my first month of being married it's great.  I love it all. I have a husband who balances out my crazy and I think I balance him out as well (you'd have to ask him). I love the good and not-so-good and most of all I am grateful to have Mr. G in my life and be our own new family now. :)  

Dreams, Anxiety and Stress! Oh My!

A few nights ago I had a really odd dream.  It was about the upcoming wedding and it was not a good one.  I woke up sweating and with an anxious knot in my chest.  It was rather funny in reality, but not funny in my subconscious dream state.  Let me relate how my rather minute stress level has escalated over the past weeks as the wedding gets closer. 
Originally things would stress me out and I would go run or work out or just be by myself for a while and it would solve my issues...for the time being.
Then there was the dream! Darn you stupid dream! I hate you subconscious!

The dream begins with me walking down the aisle, realizing I forgot my veil and turning around to go get it, but no on would let me.  The hall was rather empty and people were just milling about, not really concerned that the wedding was going on. I get to the front and the wedding talk has already begun and my fiance keeps telling me to calm down and relax.  My two brothers that walked me down the isle are doing a sort of Night at the Roxbury, Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell dance around me and getting in between Paul and I, saying "Oh maybe I should stand here, no wait, maybe over here." I am whisper yelling at them to sit down because they aren't supposed to be up there. My fiance looks blissfully unaware and the speaker isn't phased at all. 
I look around and come to the realization that there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen.  I wonder out loud where everyone is and get no response.  Next thing I know is that the ceremony is over and it's only 4:30(the time the real-life ceremony is supposed to start) and I start panicking because people are leaving for the reception, when they aren't supposed to get there until around 6. And everyone just keeps telling me to calm down and I am in this panicked/confused state!
Then I go over to meet my fiance's birth mom and am excited to meet her.  She looks at me, nods her head and says "oh..hey," then turns around and continues on her conversation with whoever she is talking to.
I don't remember the whole dream...that's basically it.  I just remember waking up sweating and ridiculously upset.

Fast forward a few more weeks, one extreme breakdown directed towards the fiance who was trying to take me out for a fun day and here I am now having anxiety about the bridal shower and wondering why people no longer understand what is traditional, expected, etiquette, or have common sense. It really boggles my mind. And by boggle, I mean sends me into fits of anxiety causing ridiculous crying, inability to understand jokes or teasing, sleepless nights, exhaustion and crankiness. 

But, wait!? Weddings are fun right!? Enjoy every minute they said, don't let anything stress you out, they said.  Too late. I throw my hands up! Now I get why people elope.
My aunt reminded me today that the most important part is when I begin walking down the aisle and see my wonderful soon to be husband smiling back at me.  It made me get all emotional because truly after all is said and done, and I'm done being super high strung and stressed out, I will be married to my favorite person in the world. All this craziness and insanity to come will all work out well, everyone will have a great time and I'll begin a new life with my wonderfully patient husband. 

Goal for this weekend: Do not freak out at the fiance, family, friends and if I should break down in tears of frustration or anxiety, I need to go to my room and get it over with.

Wedding Planning

I am getting married in 4 months! Go me!  Planning a wedding is many things and most of them are exciting.  It is also very stressful.  I think I have been doing a decent job of keeping it together, although I've definitely had my moments and I'm sure to have more as things progress.  Fortunately, I started planning the nuptials well before the engagement.  You may think that is jumping ahead, but I consider it smart.  Unlike some people who are surprised by an engagement (I was surprised when it actually happened), I was not surprised that he wanted to marry me.  My fiance and I had been planning on getting married months before the actual engagement.  That really helped because I have been getting things done rather quickly and painlessly.

I am extremely thankful for the amazing people involved in the process.  My mother, who without her the wedding would not be as fabulous as it's going to be.  My level-headed fiance, who has kept me laughing, kept me calm and patiently dealt with my emotional ups and downs.  And my fabulous group of bridesmaids who are so easy-going and supportive it's almost unreal.  Then there are the rest of my family and friends who have been offering help, planning showers and just there for anything.

There have been and I'm sure will be more bumpy moments dealing with situations related to the wedding, but listed below are some choice moments that will surely give you a good chuckle.

• Asking my fiance for his thoughts on cake and favors, and then getting mad at him for giving his input (because it was different from my idea). Go me! Fail.
• When asked about linens and chair decorations I got so overwhelmed that I told my mom I needed to go running. She got a laugh out of it, but I really was a much nicer person when I got back. Yay! Bridezilla moment averted!
•  Getting anxious when picking out bridesmaids dresses so I started sweating.  I hate asking people to spend money on something.

• Getting anxious when telling the cake designer what I wanted on my cake because I had to act like an adult. What am I a toddler? Tell the man what you want!  Can you tell I have a little issue with anxiety? Lame.

Overall, I do have to say that this is one of the most fun and exciting times, despite the stress that comes with it.
Stay tuned for more fun stories to come! 

Friendships Past and Present

I was stuck in horrible traffic last Friday and I started thinking about all the friends I was close to in High School and how i am not close to any of them now.  I suppose I went down this memory lane because my high school reunion is this year and I was reminiscing about old friendships.  It's funny how I was so fiercely loyal to these girls and they were to me, even when we really had little to nothing in common and just irritated each other sometimes.  I remember thinking that I was such an adult and could handle not only the intricacies of figuring myself out, but others as well. In all honesty I think it's taken a good decade to really get to know what I want out of life and who I am, and I am still discovering things.
It's just an interesting thing to think about.  I used to let people walk all over me sometimes in order to keep our friendship intact.  I wanted friends and I thought that I was a good one by doing that.  Reality check: Letting people walk all over you does not make you a good friend.  I remember one friend pointing out something that really made her mad, that I had done.  I was shocked, although what she said was true I just couldn't believe it.  I had let so many of her faults pass and would let things fester and not tell her about them. Lesson learned.  You just can't do things like that. Friendships are work, sometimes a lot of work.  And just because a friendship doesn't last, it is okay.  Not all of my friendships from high school ended with some big climatic fight.  Most of us just grew apart.  We grew up and grew into the women we are today.  I think it's great when I hear about people being friends since high school.  Although it's not my case, I hope that those people truly work on and cherish those friendships.  All of my friends no matter how far apart we have grown now, have taught me valuable lessons about people, life and myself.  So to all my girlfriends from my school days: Sabrina, Missy, Allie, Anna, Shannon, Lisa and Cambria; thank you for being a friend and allowing me to be yours in some of the most trying and exciting years of our lives.  I have also realized that quantity is not quality. I am grateful to all the friends I have today and happy to be part of their lives as they are of mine.

Another Ride on the 405

I get sweet satisfaction when I watch someone cut me off on the freeway, zoom in and out of traffic that is very clearly bogging up in front of us ( you can see the sea of break lights ), lose sight of them, only to pass them up a few minutes later.  Deep down inside I do an evil laugh.  Then I say to myself, "That's what you get!" It makes sitting in traffic fun. It's like a game, that no one knows I'm playing.
I also wonder why when sitting in traffic people blatantly stare at one another.  I mean googly eyes popping out just staring. And then when I catch them, they don't even look away.  Usually if I stare at someone it's because they're are picking their nose or something.  I saw a guy just going to town on a pimple on his face. It kind of made me want to gag. Sure we all get them, but yuck, no one wants to see you demolish it!
Other random thoughts while driving to work today:
*Men and women are sometimes so ridiculously different, but in the end it's a really good thing. I'd probably hate my bf if he were like me.
*The part I like about moving is taping and labeling boxes. I like writing the letters all neat and fancy. I don't know why. Sometimes I put a little design under the words.  My mom caught me doing this last night as I helped her pack and with laughter in her voice asked me what I was doing? I just smiled.
*Disneyland is awesome and I can't wait to go this weekend.  I seriously get excited like a 5 year old. It's incurable.
and last *How did I let my car get this disgusting? I'm embarrassed to be driving in this dirty car. Hmmm...could that be why people are staring? Maybe they are looking to see who would let their car get so gross. I should stare back and point to myself and say yes it's me. I'm disgusting. Until next time! Safe driving!

Going in a Different Direction

I have recently decided to take this blog in a different direction.  What is the reason you ask?  I know that all my followers (my family that reads this) will want to know. In fact I just know that is the question on everyone's mind these days.  Previously this blog was "Adventures in Apartment Life" and i got bored.  When I get bored I change things up and frankly the things that happen during my day are much more food for thought while sitting, parked on the 405 during my daily commute.  So welcome to the new stories of  "Parked on the Freeway."
My most recent thoughts:
*There are too many people in this sprawling metropolis of Los Angeles
*I know this by deductive reasoning.  It takes an hour to get to and from work. I work 12 miles from my home.  If I drive this same drive at 10pm at night, it takes me 20 to 25 minutes depending on my speed.
*The 405 is a breeding ground for anger and contempt.  I have to listen to soothing music so as to not let my mood match that of other drivers.
*The 405 is also a creator of wrinkles and back issues.  Sometimes I catch myself with my face scrunched up into some unrecognizable faces and my hands gripping the steering wheel watching people act crazy. Stress tends to build up in my back so I feel like I have eternally tight shoulders.  I turned my head the wrong way the other day and had a neck spasm that literally paralyzed me for a few seconds.  People say I should get this looked at...eh.
Nothing out of the ordinary right now, although I'm sure I'll have some interesting stories to post later. Although I did see a guy driving with a parrot on his shoulder. My thought: "Eww gross what if he poops!"

Various Updates and Events

I have not been able to update my blog in a while and apartment life is still just as strange as usual. What's new? I finally got a new screen door. That was interesting.  I was almost asleep and my manager decided to install it. I'm glad I knew what was going on otherwise I would have been freaked out.  It turns out the new one for some reason didn't fit so he put his daughters screen on mine. Odd. I'm happy to not have a gaping hole in my screen anymore.  The weather stripping however, falls off all the time. No biggie, I just stick it back on and it is VERY squeaky.  I'm thinking nails on a chalk board magnified times 20.  It's great. I'm the annoying neighbor with the squeaky door.  My neighbors continue to smoke weed, more than I know since I am not there all the time.  I actually work, unlike my neighbor and I don't think she is too concerned since I believe her parents pay her rent and she gets to do whatever she wants.  I am just speculating so I could be wrong.
My neighbors like to yell across the courtyard at each other which is really fun when it's past 11pm and I want to sleep, because you know, I work and am a busy woman, but I have to be understanding. Other people aren't busy and don't work, so I'm sure they don't even look at their clock and realize what time it is. I forgive them.  Hence, I finally bought earplugs. They are wonderful little foam joys. I sleep and only wake up if they fall out and the loudness of my surroundings infects my subconscious. Then I just plug my pink earplugs back in and go back to snore land. I also found joy in spray bleach as my bathroom now sparkles! Literally it does! I got so excited when I saw the beautiful white. :)As you can see my life is ultra excited. PB&J for lunch today. Until next time...

Home Improvement

I had a strange burst of energy after work last night.  After a little snack and some home-made hot chocolate I decided that my studio need some revamping.  I honestly don't know what got into me.  Maybe it is because I have been feeling better after a bout of the flu, but I was happy for the burst of creative energy.  I decided to free up room in the main room by moving my dresser into the closet.  I honestly thought it would take no more than 30 minutes to an hour.  Oh how wrong I was.  As with any home improvement project there are often unexpected kinks that throw a wrench in the works. I could not easily get the closet doors off so I decided to try to get the dresser in there anyhow.  I removed all my clothes and purses, the drawers from the dresser and pushed and pulled the dresser into place.  The only problem is that I would not be able to open the drawers with the closet drawers there.  They HAD to come off.  After about 30 minutes of maneuvering, pulling every which way, looking at how they were attached with my trusty flashlight I got one door off.  Then I ran into a snag and realized the inside door was stuck on a track that is screwed to the floor.  However, I am sans screwdriver and only own a hammer.  I sat on the floor next to the closet door and had no idea how to solve the problem.  Ask a neighbor to borrow one?  Give up? Tiredness set in....my apartment was a disaster with clothes everywhere, the contents of my closet in piles, dresser drawers stacked up, and one closet door leaned up against my bed.  I was sweaty and stinky and really ready to just rip that track right out of the floor...because i have super human strength, but realized it would ruin the floor.
I began to mentally go through things that could be used to unscrew the track and free the one last closet door in my way to success.  Wine key!!!! Energy level back! I grab the wine key and began to mess with the screw. Success! Now I wiggled the second door free!  By the way I seriously think there was 50 years worth of dust on the tops of those disgustingly heavy doors.  Eww. I had visions of tripping over piles of clothes and being pinned under the door. Seriously they are heavy.  The worst thing that happened was that I ran my ankle into part of my bed frame and wanted to pass out it hurt so bad.  
So after an hour and a half I successfully created a larger seating/living area and stuffed all my belongings and shoes into the closet and storage closet.  Closet doors successfully hidden under bed with all the hardware for putting them back up should I move. SUCCESS!!! Now I just need a really cool beaded or cloth curtain to cover up the door and make it look very chic.  And the best part is that I did it all by myself with just my raw strength and a wine key.  :D

Recent Happenings

Now that I am becoming a seasoned apartment tenant there are a few things that I would like for my next apartment.  The list is below.
Windows-other than my bathroom window and sliding glass door I do believe it is absolutely necessary to have another window(that opens...none of those decorative windows) because there has to be airflow....my apartment gets ridiculously hot and I'd prefer not to be so hot.  It just isn't comfortable. Well, maybe I can look at it like I am on an important assignment in a foreign country and that's just how hot it is all the time. :0)
Gas Stove-Electric stoves heat up very quick and I haven't quite figured out how NOT to destroy everything I cook on the stove.  I was successful with making rice the other day, but my sauteed zucchini was almost a goner.
Counter Space-I have enough counter space to set my drying dishes...and that's about it.  This has led me to be quite creative.  Items in mid-prep stage can go on desk chairs, tops of microwaves, dresser...being that it's only a few feet from my kitchen.
Lower Rent-I know, I know...my rent is already very decent for the area I live, but hey a girl can dream can't she?
A Roomate-(possibly) This would solve the lower rent problem and the extreme quiet that I am still not quite used to.  There are still many perks to living by myself that I quite enjoy, but there are moments where I miss being around the activity that my family brought.  Of course then I visit my mom a lot and almost look forward going back to my little quiet box. Of course no one beats her cooking and I haven't even tried because I'm afraid my place would catch on fire with all that cooking going on.
Outgoing Tenants-My neighbors are very quiet and I assume this is because most of the places are studios and therefore full of single people, but I have only spoken with 2 of my neighbors and they are very nice.  I ran into the guy that parks next to me and tried to have some small talk and he was almost scared to chat.  I am scary though...well, I must've looked it that day because he clearly was not wanting to carry on a conversation.  I thought smiling and saying hello to someone was a good thing. Oh well. Guess I was wrong. 
I still haven't braved the pool although I really wanted to the other day.  It's in the middle of everything and I feel like I'd be swimming in a fish bowl.  I think I'll just take a trip to my grandma's and swim around people that know me.
Overall, things are evening out and I'm getting used to my little place.  In a few months I'm going to start decorating more. And hopefully I will have my wine tasting party like I have been wanting to! I am SO looking forward to that! Good things are coming! I can feel it!

 

Ode to Ramen Noodles

When I am craving something good to eat,
and have very little change left to my name.
I open the cupboard,
What do I see?
Top Ramen noodles waiting patiently!
I heat up the water on my miniature stove,
Anticipating dinner in under 5 minutes.
The bubbles appear with vim and vigor.
I crunch on some noodles before
soaking them in their hot water bath.
Soften and boil, plump and cook.
Separating from their noodle nest.
Time for seasonings,
turn water to soup.
Carefully pouring into a bowl,
noodles sloshing as I carefully sit to indulge.
Ramen noodles I love for they are cheap to eat
and fill my grumbling belly until the next day!

*I really do enjoy ramen noodles.  I've learned to enjoy the simple things in life!

Ode to Peanut Butter & Jelly

Oh peanut butter how you make my heart soar!
You're protein packed punch on some toast makes my morning tolerable.
Then when it's lunch and time to munch, I bring out the jelly.
I put them together on some organic wheat bread.
In a perfect ratio I smush them together.
My tummy rumbles and I devour my staple.
Why is this an ode? You may ponder.
This is an ode because when I have no food,
There they sit in my fridge the most useful jars.
Peanut butter and jelly to bail me out of my hunger.
They are versatile condiments and go with many things.
Celery, carrots, tortillas, bread, use them in cookies or cake if you wish.
I'll take mine to lunch to save 10 bucks on dining out.
I never get bored because at least I'm not starving.
I enjoy when I do get to go out so much more,
and then it's back to PB&J galore!

*This ode was inspired by current situation of often eating PB&J to save a buck! I much appreciate you trusty condiments!
**Stay tuned for an ode to ramen noodles!

Noisy!

Many people living in a studio apartment complex with other apartment buildings surrounding the area equals quite a bit of noise throughout the day.  I have my neighbors that fight in a foreign language.  The first time I heard the raucous I had just stepped out of my car and the fighting seemed to be coming from the alley.  I was not about to be a victim of the alley. Not that there are any, but that's what scary movies to do people. I ran so fast into my building and couldn't get my key out fast enough.  Then I realized it was coming from the next complex over.  The screaming was a bit much. I was so scared I got out my pepper spray.  Then I've still got motorcycle guy that leaves and returns at random hours of the day.  And of course the walls are not very thick so I know when my neighbor is showering.  That's par for the course.  People fight, people listen to movies and music very loudly. Or like one of my neighbors have phone conversations very loudly.  It's a good thing I don't speak her language otherwise I'd know all her business. I have to say overall there isn't a whole lot going on for the most part.  I kind of wish there was. More food for my blog.

Like a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

I felt like a cat on a hot tin roof last night.  I was not literally jumping around as if my feet were burning, but mentally I was.  I was tossing and turning all night.  When you move inland to a place with very few windows during a heat wave...it's kind of like baking for a bake sale in the middle of summer.  Except I am the cookie and my apartment is the oven.  I had my measly little fan going full blast and couldn't stop picturing it exploding and setting the place on fire.  I ended up giving in and leaving my slider cracked all night.  Don't worry.  There is a hefty steel bar that only leaves it open about 3 inches and goes no further.  I needed some kind of cross breeze.  Well, there still wasn't a breeze, but it did help.  I wanted to sleep in the freezer, but I won't fit and that's not safe. Then I thought about the refrigerator, but surely there is not enough oxygen. Then I had a brilliant idea and decided to leave the fridge and freezer open and it coated everything with a thin layer of deliciously cool, white, powdery snow.  Then I could sleep.  Oh that was a dream.  Darn it all!  I love my apartment, I do, yes...I do.  That is why I have been spending all weekend in the beach area with my family.  My brothers questioned why I moved out and all my speeches about being independent and getting too old to live with my mom went out the window.  My brain had been fried like an egg...okay not that bad, but I didn't even protest.  Because at that moment when the question was asked, I really didn't know.  I was living in the beach area, spending 200 bucks less and not broke off my rear end when living at home, and I didn't have to borrow a vacuum.  I guess I love my apartment because I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.  Well, almost...okay not really but still! It's mine! 
**Side note** My mother had 300 cone shaped filters that she could not put to use because her coffee maker doesn't use cone shaped.  So they have been sitting there in the storage closet all wrapped up and waiting for guess who?  ME!  When she mentioned this I almost cried...no really tears welled up in my eyes.  300 pots of coffee until I would need to buy filters.  I can't describe my elation.  Yes, sad but true.  Living on my own and paying for everything (well, except for the gas money that my grandma and mom have let me borrow! Thanks gals!) has made me appreciate the small things, even paper filters.  

Coffee....I will do what it takes to get some.

I get paid next week which is great because I can finish paying my deposit off for my apartment.  Unfortunately that is what I call my bill paying paycheck.  No joke.  All my bills are paid with that check.  So...I haven't gone to the store.  I have food. I have a roof over my head. I have face wash, soap, towels...you get the picture.  Necessities.  And I have coffee.  I got home last night around 9:20pm and realized that I had used my last coffee filter.  I could've run out to the dollar store, but it would be closed most likely and I had just put on grungy clothes and washed my face and began the process of washing up my sink full of dishes.  I was NOT going to the store.  Plus, the dollars that I did have were being saved for gas.  There was no way I could wait until I got to work to drink my morning cup o' joe.  No way! That's insane!!! Plus, my timer goes off everyday at 6am so I know even if I sleep through the alarm that when that coffee aroma fills my apartment it is time to get up.  So you see it is a necessity that I have coffee EVERY DAY! I said all of that to say this.  I am NOT lazy to the point of not going to the store.  I AM however broke at the moment because this venturing out alone for the first time has been expensive, especially since I don't have a lot.  I did expect this and I also have to say that my family has been very supportive.  I am in no way discounting that and everything will work out once I get these last few things paid off.  It's just tight...VERY tight....I digress. The reason I digress is because I am ashamed to admit what I am about to say next.  Last night I washed out the last filter that was sitting in my coffee pot and...and...and I reused it! *I throw my hands over my face in embarrassment* I realize it's not the depression, but hey it was a perfectly good filter! I NEEDED my coffee. Don't judge me! Yeah you. Don't look at me like that. At least I didn't pull it out of the trash! Okay, I'll go buy some coffee filters. And silverware.  Cutting a bagel with a plastic knife is an adventure in itself.

Curtains and Motorcycle Riders

I need curtains.  Having a sliding door as an entire wall/front door and only standard white apartment curtains to block out light and curious neighbors is not enough.  I need some serious blackout curtains because I like to sleep in the dark.  I've been waking up at 4am almost everyday ready to get ready for work because the lights surrounding the courtyard and from the street. I use my diminishing eyesight to look at my alarm clock on my desk to see that it says 4:00....AM! Darn it all I say to myself and throw my blanket back over my head.  One time I actually got up and wondered why in tarnation the coffee hadn't started brewing....I was 2 hours too early. Next purchase...dark curtains. I tried a sleep mask but the minute I wriggle it off my face mid-snooze I'm awake again.  Apartment life sure is exciting. 
So, I will buy curtains and ear plugs.  Some species of human believe that it is okay to rev their very loud motorcycle from 11pm to 11:30pm.  It was kind of a game.  Pillow over the head for revving and driving up and down driveway...raucous noise stops....pillow off the head...relief. This game went on for 30 minutes.  I had visions of getting up and yelling out the bathroom window, throwing bottles and calling the cops.  I get angry when I'm tired and people make unnecessary noise and then I do nothing about it besides throw my fists at my pillow and scream(quietly). Although it was necessary in this person's world to partake in this annoying activity.  I wonder if he broke up with his significant other and he was debating to go or to stay.  Go...rev rev rev...vrrooom...drive down the driveway...come back...stop....no i'll go....she's through with me and vice versa....rev rev rev....vroom...i'm outta here! I mean come on man make up your mind! Go or stay! Be decisive! Maybe that's why she kicked him out.  I don't claim to know anything about motorcycle neighbor, but putting the scenario into this light makes me laugh as I sit here...at work..doing an expense report and drinking coffee like it's my lifeline.  Until the next exciting apartment drama unfold...bye for now!