Like a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

I felt like a cat on a hot tin roof last night.  I was not literally jumping around as if my feet were burning, but mentally I was.  I was tossing and turning all night.  When you move inland to a place with very few windows during a heat wave...it's kind of like baking for a bake sale in the middle of summer.  Except I am the cookie and my apartment is the oven.  I had my measly little fan going full blast and couldn't stop picturing it exploding and setting the place on fire.  I ended up giving in and leaving my slider cracked all night.  Don't worry.  There is a hefty steel bar that only leaves it open about 3 inches and goes no further.  I needed some kind of cross breeze.  Well, there still wasn't a breeze, but it did help.  I wanted to sleep in the freezer, but I won't fit and that's not safe. Then I thought about the refrigerator, but surely there is not enough oxygen. Then I had a brilliant idea and decided to leave the fridge and freezer open and it coated everything with a thin layer of deliciously cool, white, powdery snow.  Then I could sleep.  Oh that was a dream.  Darn it all!  I love my apartment, I do, yes...I do.  That is why I have been spending all weekend in the beach area with my family.  My brothers questioned why I moved out and all my speeches about being independent and getting too old to live with my mom went out the window.  My brain had been fried like an egg...okay not that bad, but I didn't even protest.  Because at that moment when the question was asked, I really didn't know.  I was living in the beach area, spending 200 bucks less and not broke off my rear end when living at home, and I didn't have to borrow a vacuum.  I guess I love my apartment because I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.  Well, almost...okay not really but still! It's mine! 
**Side note** My mother had 300 cone shaped filters that she could not put to use because her coffee maker doesn't use cone shaped.  So they have been sitting there in the storage closet all wrapped up and waiting for guess who?  ME!  When she mentioned this I almost cried...no really tears welled up in my eyes.  300 pots of coffee until I would need to buy filters.  I can't describe my elation.  Yes, sad but true.  Living on my own and paying for everything (well, except for the gas money that my grandma and mom have let me borrow! Thanks gals!) has made me appreciate the small things, even paper filters.  

Coffee....I will do what it takes to get some.

I get paid next week which is great because I can finish paying my deposit off for my apartment.  Unfortunately that is what I call my bill paying paycheck.  No joke.  All my bills are paid with that check.  So...I haven't gone to the store.  I have food. I have a roof over my head. I have face wash, soap, towels...you get the picture.  Necessities.  And I have coffee.  I got home last night around 9:20pm and realized that I had used my last coffee filter.  I could've run out to the dollar store, but it would be closed most likely and I had just put on grungy clothes and washed my face and began the process of washing up my sink full of dishes.  I was NOT going to the store.  Plus, the dollars that I did have were being saved for gas.  There was no way I could wait until I got to work to drink my morning cup o' joe.  No way! That's insane!!! Plus, my timer goes off everyday at 6am so I know even if I sleep through the alarm that when that coffee aroma fills my apartment it is time to get up.  So you see it is a necessity that I have coffee EVERY DAY! I said all of that to say this.  I am NOT lazy to the point of not going to the store.  I AM however broke at the moment because this venturing out alone for the first time has been expensive, especially since I don't have a lot.  I did expect this and I also have to say that my family has been very supportive.  I am in no way discounting that and everything will work out once I get these last few things paid off.  It's just tight...VERY tight....I digress. The reason I digress is because I am ashamed to admit what I am about to say next.  Last night I washed out the last filter that was sitting in my coffee pot and...and...and I reused it! *I throw my hands over my face in embarrassment* I realize it's not the depression, but hey it was a perfectly good filter! I NEEDED my coffee. Don't judge me! Yeah you. Don't look at me like that. At least I didn't pull it out of the trash! Okay, I'll go buy some coffee filters. And silverware.  Cutting a bagel with a plastic knife is an adventure in itself.

Curtains and Motorcycle Riders

I need curtains.  Having a sliding door as an entire wall/front door and only standard white apartment curtains to block out light and curious neighbors is not enough.  I need some serious blackout curtains because I like to sleep in the dark.  I've been waking up at 4am almost everyday ready to get ready for work because the lights surrounding the courtyard and from the street. I use my diminishing eyesight to look at my alarm clock on my desk to see that it says 4:00....AM! Darn it all I say to myself and throw my blanket back over my head.  One time I actually got up and wondered why in tarnation the coffee hadn't started brewing....I was 2 hours too early. Next purchase...dark curtains. I tried a sleep mask but the minute I wriggle it off my face mid-snooze I'm awake again.  Apartment life sure is exciting. 
So, I will buy curtains and ear plugs.  Some species of human believe that it is okay to rev their very loud motorcycle from 11pm to 11:30pm.  It was kind of a game.  Pillow over the head for revving and driving up and down driveway...raucous noise stops....pillow off the head...relief. This game went on for 30 minutes.  I had visions of getting up and yelling out the bathroom window, throwing bottles and calling the cops.  I get angry when I'm tired and people make unnecessary noise and then I do nothing about it besides throw my fists at my pillow and scream(quietly). Although it was necessary in this person's world to partake in this annoying activity.  I wonder if he broke up with his significant other and he was debating to go or to stay.  Go...rev rev rev...vrrooom...drive down the driveway...come back...stop....no i'll go....she's through with me and vice versa....rev rev rev....vroom...i'm outta here! I mean come on man make up your mind! Go or stay! Be decisive! Maybe that's why she kicked him out.  I don't claim to know anything about motorcycle neighbor, but putting the scenario into this light makes me laugh as I sit here...at work..doing an expense report and drinking coffee like it's my lifeline.  Until the next exciting apartment drama unfold...bye for now!

Refrigerator Raucous

My apartment already came with a refrigerator.  It was on and running, clean and white.  All good things.  What I did not realize right away was that the setting for temperature was low.  I put food in it and it is very important that my food stays cold because of course if it is not it will go bad.  You can't eat warm eggs, cheese, milk, and deli meats.  If you do we all know it sets you up for a long day in the bathroom.  I for one choose to spend my day being productive elsewhere and NOT stuck in the restroom due to eating warm food.  
Warning signals started going off in my head when I checked the bread I put in the freezer and noticed that it was still relatively soft.  I just assumed that my freezer wasn't very good at freezing things.  Oh well, no big deal.  Then I noticed on Sunday after I felt the food in the refrigerator that my food wasn't as cold as I thought it should be.  So I turned the dial to what I thought was a colder setting.  Then I went off to work yesterday, dinner at my mom's house after and noticed condensation in my lettuce bag, water bottles and when I looked at the cheese it was a little worse for wear.  I started to panic and when I felt the milk I knew something was wrong.  Everything was barely cold enough! I threw everything in the freezer to cool it down.  I looked at the nob and turned it again and realized when it hit the words "OFF" that I had been turning it in the wrong direction.  I decided right then and there that I needed some rest.  If I could get so confused about a refrigerator dial what was I doing with my life?  I have to say I wanted to cry because if my food was ruined there was no way I could buy more until my next pay day...a week away.  Ramen noodles here I come!!!! I didn't cry though.  I pulled myself together, turned the dial in the right direction, took a shower, made some tension relieving tea, took a sleep aid and popped in a good movie for an hour, then moved all the food back to the correct temperature fridge and fell asleep quicker than you could say Spoiled Food.  All is well. My yogurt tasted and smelled fine and today is another day.  I can now laugh about it, blog about it and share my mistakes with others because it's all okay and as Scarlett O'Hara often said... "I won't think about that now. I'll think about that tomorrow."

Studio Life

Moving out is....many things. The process of moving out is not fun.  It is tiring and makes you pull muscles you didn't know still existed in your body.  Moving is emotional, for me at least.  Being exhausted doesn't help my delicate emotional balance either.  I am finally moved in and it is wonderful.  A big shout out to my family for helping me move and getting me great gifts to get me started.  My family gave me the best housewarming party with delicious food, ping-pong and gifts.  We had laughs and ate a lot.  Wine was also involved which is always fun.  I love me some wine! Yeehaw! I'm also very classy.  
Saturday was the big day and I slept remarkable well with only a few interruptions in sleep.  Yesterday one of my good friends came over with gifts in hand.  I thought she was going to bring some dessert because I told her that I didn't have any of that.  Frankly, she could've showed up empty handed and that would've been fine with me.  But, she didn't.  She came with a giant orange gift bag containing a pillow pet ( now named Bugsy ), a Starbucks card and a bottle of pink sparkling wine ( we pretended it was champagne ).  We realized it is not saveable, so we drank the whole bottle while listening to my iTunes selection.  We stayed up entirely too late, yet I made it to work 30 minutes early, so it all worked out.  I love living close to the freeway!
So far things have been good at my apartment.  It is a very quiet complex which is nice because I like to sleep since I always wake up so early.
Now the name studio to me usually implies art is taking place in tiny creative spaces.  It could be painting, pottery making, basket weaving, sketching, writing; you get the picture.  Apparently in my complex there is not a lot of that going on.  I did notice after having my sliding door open and a nice breeze flowing through that the breeze suddenly smelled like weed.  I'm not a fan. At all.  I had to close my slider and turn on my fan.  So I'm hoping this is not a common thing of smoking the weed on a Sunday morning while I am trying to enjoy a cup of coffee and visit with my lil' sis.  Apparently studio living inspires some to create and others to smoke the day away.  
I've also discovered that starting from scratch is ridiculously expensive.  I spent $100 gift card at Albertson's and got nothing! If it had been a Sprout's or Trader Joe's gift card I'd have food for weeks.  Okay maybe like 2 weeks, but still! Okay done ranting.  I have food and I did by Ramen noodles because they are cheap and I figure it's required if you live on your own to have Ramen noodles.  I'm inspired by this studio life.  Maybe, I'll write a play like Rent and eating Ramen and sweating in the sweltering heat because my neighbors are smoking the weed and I don't want to smell it so I suffer with my door closed. And then my play will make it to broadway and I'll be rich and famous I say...rich! *evil laugh*

Address Change is Monotonous

I have list of things I really really really dislike.  Changing my address is one of them.  Not the physical process of changing my address, but the paperwork and forms it requires to show that I no longer live at my old address.  To top it off I am the type that likes to get all those things done in one day and the DMV website was down for online services all afternoon, so I had to wait until today! It's just as bad as going over to the DMV and standing in line and still not getting everything taken care of.  Okay, not really that bad.  I'm over dramatizing.  But, I hate waiting and that was the last address change I had to make.  To top it off, because I no longer live in such a nice area my car insurance went up 26 bucks per month! Who is going to steal my car in the first place? It has a cracked bumper, rust on one of the sides and damage from running into a pole...and later a fence.  I think I subconsciously ruined my car so that no one would want it.  Yeah...right.  The next step is actually committing my address to memory and not driving home to my mom's house after work once I move in remembering that I now live on my own. I am positive that some days I'll be on auto-pilot, show up at my mom's house and play it off like I meant to be there. 

The moving has begun...and creepy neighbors appear and other minor stories.

I was determined to get my keys on Monday so after asking to take a half day off of work and calling the managers without success I waiting until 1pm and went over there.  They were really busy painting and fixing up their place, but I successfully obtained my keys!  Then I began the moving process.  A lot of my stuff is now in my apartment after 2 days of moving.  Normally, I would prefer to do everything in one day, but I don't feel like doing everything this Saturday except the big items, so I have been moving what I can over after work.  My family has been really helpful and my youngest brother was even excited to clean the bathroom. He said "I'll clean the bathroom for you Jen. I've never cleaned an apartment bathroom before." Ahhh youth.  How could I stifle that desire to help? I just had to let him do it.  
I still feel like I need to do more scrubbing because even though it was "cleaned" before I moved in, it was very dusty and knowing that others lived there before me makes me want to thoroughly scrub everything 3 times.  I don't know why 3 times is sufficient, but it seems like a good enough number.
I'm already loving my little place and all the quirks it has. I discovered that there are absolutely no electrical outlets in my little kitchen except for the one behind the fridge.  Fortunately a friend of mine bought me a bunch of basics to get me started including a power strip and extension cords.  So problem solved.  One whole side of my cabinets is completely overtaken by the water heater...I don't have that much stuff.  Problem solved. No stuff to want to put in that cabinet...no problem.
My mom and little brother helped me move more stuff in last night and clean the floors in the kitchen and bathroom.  We were walking back out to my car to grab more stuff and a very "interesting" middle-aged man in a tank-top walks out of the other apartment 2 doors away from mine and slowly goes down the stairs.  Nothing wrong with this exactly right? Except for the fact that he is looking around at everyone's apartment and sort of shuffling his feet.  I can't describe the feeling I got except creepy!  I thought okay don't overreact, but when my mom looked at me with her worried mom face, I knew my feelings were valid.  To top it off when I was walking back he pulled back his blinds and very obviously watched me walk back to my apartment.  I stared him down because there is no way I'm going to give the impression that I am unaware of his presence.  My mom was totally freaked out and I told her I would always have my pepper spray out when I walked to my apartment.  Yikes! There sure are some creepers and of course he wasn't living there when I originally looked at the place.  Oh well, he will probably move on somewhere else at some point.  I am sure the stories will continue as I take up residence in my new abode. Au Revoir for now!

The keys will be mine...in a few short hours!

I have anxiously been awaiting August 15, 2011 (today) because I got my paycheck and get to hand a big chunk of it over as rent for my new apartment in exchange for the keys! Ooohhhh Ahhhhhh. I know it's really exciting.  I can see you jumping out of your seat with excitement for me.  Settle down. I can only handle my own feelings right now.  I appreciate your enthusiasm though.  
I don't know why, but I have  a really weird suspicion that when I get there to drop off the check and fill out paperwork they will say oh who are you?  We forgot about you and rented it to someone else.  And then I'll say, but wait I have the receipt from the deposit I put down to hold the place.  And then they will deny the whole thing, saying that is not their writing or signature and I will have to take them to court to get my money back and live out of boxes until I find a new place.  
Yeah, I'm weird.  I know.  You don't need to tell me.  I'm just a little anxious....a little.  My hands are shaking from the caffeine this morning (even though I haven't drank a full cup yet).  I wonder if the bank will let me take out that much money! I hate that I have to actually go inside the bank to get a cashier's check because the apartment management doesn't take personal checks until they deem me reliable enough.  You mean I have to go inside and have personal contact with a teller?  AH! Social anxiety!!!! I blame it on the fact that I have grown up around technology that denies us personal contact with people.  I've gotten used to pre-recorded messages, text messages, and online tools so much that sometimes I feel like every real person that I've never met is a stranger...STRANGER DANGER!!! Okay, wow. I'll calm down.  Maybe all this new independence and branching out on my own is making me a little neurotic.  I'll probably spend the first night in my apartment with all the lights on and jumping at every weird sound my neighbors or the old creaky apartment walls make.  Okay off to do real work and earn money so that I can actually survive on my own!


 

The big day is fast approaching!

Usually when people say "the big day" I think of a couple's wedding, but for me it means moving day! I am striking out on my own to my new little studio in 5 days time when I get paid and spend a huge chunk of it for a little slice of independence. I am excited, yes, I am. Or I think I am and then doubt starts creeping in...stupid doubt...who told you to come to this party anyway? I start to doubt whether or not my budget can really handle all these new expenses, extra rent, electricity, groceries, internet(which I'll put off until I absolutely need it. I can use it at work.) What about bills??? What about unexpected expenses. Then I think that living with my family didn't help me with unexpected expenses either so I'll be fine. I still had rent and bills and food to buy.
So I'm going to stay excited because everything is nearly ready to go. Boxes are stacked in my room and labeled "dishes" "clothes" etc. You get the picture.
One thing I know to be true is that I can always go home again should something happen so unexpected that I need to return to the nest. Although this thought is comforting, I really hope it doesn't happen. I am relishing that fact that if I now go home from work and feel like just crashing out and not eat dinner, I can do so. I can work out at 11pm should I so desire and not have anyone think it's too late. I can go to bed early, really early and not have anyone worry that I am sick. I do appreciate my family worrying, but sometimes I want to do what I want and not have any worries brought to my attention.
I'll probably still be hanging out with them most days, especially weekends because I have not figured out how to cook small portions being that I come from a large family. And that I'll probably miss the noise after a while and love my mom's food and hanging out with her. Now that I'm older we are much more of friends and I like hanging around her. I'll miss my cat too and my crazy brothers so I'll be there a lot to soak up the family. :)

Studio Apartment Living

I have been searching for an apartment for some time, now that I have a stable job and decent income. This income although decent allows me to take care of myself and live paycheck to paycheck, but I figure that is better than nothing. Southern California is not cheap. If I want to live next to a crack house I can get a one bedroom and a decent size apartment for less than 800 (true story-there was an obvious drug operation being run out of the house next door, so I didn't even get out to look at the apartment. My mom was with me and gasped and told me to keep driving. I couldn't stop laughing.). It is scary what you don't get for your many hours worked at a full-time job. I finally stopped lying to myself that I would be okay living in certain areas and found a decent studio that is as big as my current room. Now my room that I currently live in is large...for a room. My studio is about the same size, but has a kitchen and bathroom taking up space. So my bed will fill up the majority of the space. I am really tempted to trade my little brother his twin bed for my full size in an attempt to open up more space.
I started packing up my room and getting rid of things that I don't wear or use anymore. It is amazing the amount of junk I have squeezed into my room over the last several years. It's a bit overwhelming and I finally broke down in tears this past weekend from stress. I was not breaking down from regret over my decision, but simply the amount of stress I was trying to keep under control. That and I am an emotional female. That never helps deal with things. A good friend of mine came to help me pack on Saturday and we had big plans for wine and snacks to help us make a party. Instead we opted for ice cream and coffee to keep us going.
I have grand plans for my new place. We will see if I can make them come to fruition within my measly budget for extras. Right now I am focused on food, necessities and bills. Maybe I'll become super creative now on decorating ideas on a budget!